Things Are Looking Good

They patio is finally finished and the garden is blooming. Having a backyard sure is an absolutely great thing. We've been working hard and getting all that done and I'm looking forward until it's all finished and we can sit out there and enjoy every thing. Just today I put the BBQ grill on the patio, the table and the chairs and it looks great. I wish we'd have some actual patio furniture, but what we have will do for now.

The temperatures are great too, especially considering that it's not even summer yet. It's gonna be a hell of a summer, and we sure need to have an umbrella ready or we'll be grilled by the sun. Especially looking forward to the evenings we're gonna spend out there around the bonfire. We're just have to have some bug spray, because those mosquitoes are eating me alive. It is finally something we're doing for just us and it feels great.

Kelly is now officially 9 days smoke free, and I love it. She's in a better mood lately, but I still have to be strong. I know she can do it and I'm very proud of her, I just can't mention it or I get yelled at... LOL.

So things are looking much better than in the beginning of the year, and even though I'd never thought I'd say that back in the beginning of 2010, but it is going to be a great year.

More Beautiful Every Day

They say that time is the great thief
Robber of beauty and of looks
I have heard it spoken times before
Have read of it in books

But as the years go by with you
I realize more and more
You just get that much better
So much better than before

For what may have caught my eye
Was surely your pretty face
But over the years I have come to know
Your true beauty and inner grace

For your true beauty is not seen
Not what you choose to show
It is your beauty that lies inside
The beauty I’ve come to know

And as the years pass on by
You age just like fine wine
And every year that passes by
Makes me glad you’re mine

Far from your beauty ever fading
I feel that I must say
You just keep on getting better
And more beautiful every day

Of This You Can Be Sure

The summer sun rises over the hills
With a beauty and certain grace
But it cannot compete with the beauty of you
Or the beauty of your face

The falling snow in wintertime
Makes everything look so new
But it cannot compare with the beauty
The beauty that is you

The birds in springtime sing their song
So sweetly and so pure
But they cannot compare with your sweet words
Of this you can be sure

The colorful leaves on autumn trees
All covered with morning dew
May be glorious in their beauty
But are nothing compared to you

All the wonders on this fine earth
And the glory of up above
Are nothing compared to your sweet charms
Or the beauty of your love

I'm Proud It's You

Looking back on the time we shared
Nothing else in my life has compared
Joined together hand in hand
Part of some much larger plan
You have brought to my world such sheer delight
Making my time on earth so sunny and bright
I am so thankful for the time we spend
Time together I know will never end
From the first time I saw your face
I knew you were my saving grace
Like a drowning man who’s been thrown a rope
You’ve provided me such unending hope
Casting my loneliness to the side
Never once breaking your stride
Like a gift from Heaven above
I’m so thankful for your love
A true love that will never fade
I’m thankful for the love we made
All the times we held each other tight
Making love with all our might
A special dance between the covers
That could only be done by true lovers
Thankful I have you to hug and hold
Thankful for the passion you let unfold
I'm sure this time with you will never end
For it is time spent with my best friend
So thankful for the joy you bring
Symbolized by a wedding ring
I know the best is yet to come
Though we are two, we think as one
For no matter what the future may bring
I am proud it is you who wears my ring

For That Special Someone

She is who pumps deep through my veins
My mouth utters passionately for her name
Referred to as my wife, but she is much more
She is what I breath and what I live for
She touches me in ways I cannot feel
Encloses me whole, with her lips as a seal
Our love is wrapped by an imaginary band
Bonded together through each of our hands
Heaven sent me an angel who recites her hymn
Love overcame lust and I overcame sin
Taking me to new levels; I'm swept off my feet
Her love… the one and only thing my heart beats
True love never ends, nor does it die
This is going to be the new Bonnie & Clyde
There is no question, I drop the 'why'
She is the one, my wife till I die

I Love You, Goodbye!

I was trying to keep my head held high
But all that's left is to say goodbye
My heart is broke, my soul is hollow
There's nothing left for me to follow
Day by day you fight through the pain
Because of something stuck in your brain
How did this happen? What went wrong?
Heaven is just not where you belong
I don't know what to do without you
Or how I'm going to make it through
You will be gone and I will be here
Just thinking about it fills me with fear
You are so young, you deserve to live
But there's nothing more that you can give
Nobody knows how long it's gonna take
For you are weak and might soon break
I think about this every brand new day
And I wish there was a way for you to stay
But with a heavy heart and a tear in my eye
I'm letting you go, I love you, goodbye

A Thought of You

My kind of music
My favorite song
I want to be with you
All day and all night long

A spring breeze
A summer sun
Now that I know you
You are my one

A winter sparkle
An autumn tree
Added all up
It equals you and me

My best friend
My only lover
From here on out
I'll keep you forever

A good laugh
With some happy tears
You're the one I go to
Through all the coming years

When it rains it rains
When it snows it snows
I wrote this specially for you
and you're the only one who knows

You keep me warm
When I'm so cold
As if my heart were for sale
To you it was sold

Whether playing our favorite game
Or to music we sing and listen
When it comes to you
There's just no competition

Not the best cut diamonds
Or the reddest rose
Could ever amount to
When you hold me close

And when everything is said and done
The night is over and we've had our fun
Out of all the women I choose just one
The best one of all and that's you Hun

Forever Love

Your friendship and love,
And all the wonderful things
That they bring into my life,
Are like nothing else
I have ever known.

My heart is complete
With the love we share,
And our love grows more
Beautiful each day.

I love you,
And as long as we are together,
I have everything I need.

You are with me always...
In a smile, a memory, a feeling
Or a moment we share.

You will always be
My Forever Love

Feel, Listen & Believe

Lie in my arms
Feel how I hold you tight
In my arms you can be forever
In my arms you can feel secure

Look into my eyes
In my eyes you can read forever
And in my heart
That you'll always be the only one for me

Feel my touches
Feel how your hairs on your neck stand up
I will touch you forever
Cause you're the best that ever happens to me

Hear my voice
How I talk to you
Let me make you happy with saying:
I love you

A Proud Moment

Four days ago, my wife handed me her pack of cigarettes and told me to put it in the refrigerator. I looked at her, not understanding anything, so she told me that cigarettes stay fresher in the refrigerator and that she's less likely to grab for a cigarette when they're not next to her. I know that it takes a lot to quit smoking, that it's hard but definitely possible if you really want it. She told me before that she's not ready to quit, and I answered her that there's no point in trying then, because you can only do it when your mind is set to it.

I knew the moment she handed me those cigarettes that she was serious. Serious with quitting smoking, or at least cutting it down for right now. There's been times she smoked a lot, hell that includes me too, times when we smoked about one and a half packs a day each and sometimes even more. 30+ cigarettes a day was the usual and the day she started to cut down she only had 11 cigarettes. 11!! Ain't that great? When I look at her I can see that it's not easy for her, but after 6 months of quitting I am ready to support her. I feel strong enough to help her reach her goal. She's doing a great job and I can't even express how proud I am.

She's doing it all on her own, and she's even cut down on the coffee. Instead of 12+ cups a day she's having 2 cups. Cigarettes and coffee definitely is her biggest addiction - besides me that is =] ! No seriously, that was what her breakfasts used to involve - cigarettes and coffee. Cutting down on two addictions is a really big step.

So baby, if you read this, I just want to let you know how very proud I am of you! You're holding up so great and I am here whenever you need some help. Let me be your rock you can lean on whenever you need a break or whenever you doubt yourself. Let me be your punching bag whenever you feel down. I am here for you and I know you can succeed. I know what you're fighting for and I could not be happier.

I love you and always will - Forever & Ever, Babe!!

Light of Friendship

I've seen the light
And it's in you
In everything you are
And in everything you do

It's a perfect light
That shines for all to see
It radiates from you
And has pierced the heart of me

The light is from a friend
It's a light that keeps me warm
It lets me know how loved I am
And keeps me safe from harm

To you my friend I am thankful
In each and every way
For you lift my spirits up
With every passing day

To know that you are there for me
It makes me feel alive
Because it is your friendship's light
Upon which my love thrives

"Thank you" isn't good enough
But they're the only words I know
It is your light of friendship
That gives my world it's glow

2010 - The Year of Changes

Like every new year, you decide on a resolution and within a month, or perhaps even a couple of weeks, the resolution is broken. We all know it, we've all done it - once, twice or even more times.

I've done it too, many many times before. Most of the time I've set my resolutions on losing weight and quitting smoking, but so far I've never succeeded. I went on a diet for maybe 4 weeks and then I got tired of it and just went back to the regular way. Thinking about it now I sure could kick myself in the ass, if only I could reach. But anyhow, last August I decided on quitting smoking. Yes, I've done it many times before, the longest was 1 year without a cigarette, but I kept returning to those smoking lung sticks. So on 08/15/09 I decided to quit for good. Not only for me, but for Kelly as well. I want that my little sperms swim in super speed and make sure they get a place in the egg. I want to be able to run around with our kids without breathing like crazy and I don't want the kids to grow up surrounded by cigarettes. My parents both smoked when I was young and studies show that children are more likely to smoke if their parents do. Now I don't want to blame my parents for me smoking, but I'm just saying. Those are the reasons why I quit and I know I'll never smoke a cigarette again. I want to be ready to support my wife when she decides on quitting and I hope she is proud of me and sees that it is possible, you just have to want it!

So that's what happened in the middle of last year. But last year is past. What matters is what's happening now, here and now in the present. And on January 3rd, a healthier lifestyle has begun. We've decided on eating healthy, exercising and keeping an eye on our weight and so far it's going great. I've lost a total of 9.4 pounds and it feels great. Who would have thought that switching to whole wheat bread, whole wheat pasta, red potatoes, light stuff and organic fruits and vegetables would still be enjoyable. Well let me tell you: It is delicious, not to mention good for you. I try to exercise at least 1 hour per day with 2 break days a week. It's not always easy but Kelly sure pushes me through. I think she really enjoys working me that hard and hearing me screaming, but after the hour is over it feels great. 'Failure is NOT an option' is our motto and if I can barely push the dumbbells up some more, I just repeat that saying in my head. My goal for this year is to lose at least 100 pounds. Big goal huh? Yeah I know, but I can do it. Why you ask? Because I WANT it. I know I said it before, but it's different now. It's totally different. I had to switch the switch in my head first to be able to let my body go through all that hard work and I finally succeeded to switch it in my head.

I noticed that whatever you want to do, no matter how hard it might be, is possible as long as your head is set to it... because...

...'FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION'

Friendship

Friendship is a bond between 2 or more people whom you are close with. A friendship is easy to lose but hard to gain. This is because arguments and fights occur easily between pals. However, friendships are difficult to fix back, or form, due to misunderstandings and the difference of likes and dislikes. Some people treasure friendships a lot, while others take these bonds for granted. A friendship should be valued wisely as such matters do help in the future. When you have a problem occurring, you can always find your friends, or vice versa. These precious bonds are like treasures, difficult to find, but easy to lose.

Although numerous people define friendship in different ways, i define it as loyalty, trust and acceptance between people. In order to form a friendship with someone, a person must be loyal to them and the favor will be returned. This means that no matter what, a friend is always there for them, even in the darkest of times. A friend is willing to give them advice when they're faced with a predicament, and they should be always willing to do the same. When they have a bad day, a good friend is there to cheer them up and make them smile again. Secondly, a good friend must be trustworthy. When someone tells another person a secret, they are trying to prove how trustworthy their friends are. But when someone breaks this trust, the friendship is typically broken or badly damaged. Thirdly, in order to be friends, a person must be able to accept others for who they are. They need to be accepting of who the person is on the inside instead of just the outside. A good friend is also never afraid to do something brainless with their friends when they're just looking for a good time. In conclusion, numerous people define friendship in different ways, however I define it as loyalty, trust and acceptance of others.

Real friends are people you can tell everything to. Whether it's something good or bad, friends are there to comfort you and support you in your decisions. It's not always easy to please a friend, but all you need to do is to talk to them.

I don't have many friends, but that is absolutely fine with me. Quantity over quality is my motto for friends and that explains the choice of people I let close to me.

Sometimes

Sometimes we see things that aren’t meant to be seen
Sometimes things aren’t always as they seem
Sometimes we need someone to call our own
Especially when we’re alone
Sometimes people just can’t understand
Why things get out of hand
Sometimes life just isn’t fair
Especially when people just don’t care
And sometimes it's hard to say
Why things have to be this way
Sometimes it’s all you can do to get by
Especially when dreams continue to die
Sometimes it’s nice to sit in the rain
Even to just relieve the pain
And when we’ve had a really bad day,
Sometimes we just need to get away
We never know what’s wrong with out pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same
And sometimes when people get hurt
Even the strongest ones may need comfort

Saying I do

Saying I do
Is more than saying I love you
It goes beyond describing how my love is true
Because words are not enough to express my love for you.

Saying I do
Is like saying I am here for you
That I am ready to see what the future may bring
Because we are together in everything.

Saying I do
Is saying I am now complete because of you
That the pieces of the puzzle called "my life"
Becomes a beautiful picture called "our love".

And now I am saying "I DO"
As I walk down the aisle with you
This is a lifetime promise that I will hold
A promise I make until we grow old

Let me be

Let me be the smile that crosses your lips in a silent empty room
Let me lay in close beside you under a silver wishing moon
Let me stay in your mind and dance with you where no one else can see
Let me be your wish for tomorrow, that you and I are we
Let me sooth away your anger, let me kiss away your tears
Let me chase away your demons, let me love away your fears
I have seen your true sorrows, I have felt your true fears
I have seen your anger and still kissed away your tears
My love for you is eternal and each day I love you more
I am yours and wish for you, all you wish for me, and more
Your eyes find life in me, therefore I live
Your heart deems me worthy, therefore I give
You feel my sincerity, therefore I am what I seem
Your mind dreams, dreams for me, therefore I dream
Your silent will beckons me, therefore I am calm
Your heart truly loves me, therefore I am.

Because of you

You took away my tears
You took away my pain
Without you in my life
I have nothing to gain

You have stayed with me
Through everything, Kelly Lynn
For that I give you my heart
And all my love within

I go crazy when I can't see you
How much I yearn for your touch
The moment that you leave me
I just miss you so much

I don't deserve all of this
I thought it all the way through
But now my life is so wonderful
And it's all because of you

Night of Love

When you're lying your arms around me with tenderness
Naked skin turning around and moving
We fall onto silk pillows
I don't want miss one second of your embrace

We feel our bodies, deep sensually
Will awake a need which slept in myself
Want to smell your love with every saps
Overcast hot skin wild with kisses

Our shadows move back and forth in the mirror
Full of expectation we want more
Our heart lose in the lurch of desire
Bright of thousand of flickering candles

I want you with lock, stock, and barrel, want all of you
I cover up myself with tenderness that I don't freeze
Pull you to me, enfold you with the rapture of the night
Do what you want with me which you conceived in your dreams

Hot ablaze flames rise in the darkness
Our bodies entangled and dancing in the round dance
Which overturning our voices in pure passion
And abode the most beautiful hours silently

I'm deep in you, your sweet body quakes in ecstasy
We seek for the most beautiful passion
Hold me tight, your hands buried in my hair
Let us experience on the bottomless variety of love

We succumb without orientation in our passion
Stroking each other, caressing, fly to the heaven
A shower let us shaken in cozy warmth
Dropping, resulting in the feeling you hold me tight

Lets fall back into the soft silk pillows
A kiss from you and I don't want to know what you're thinking about
I tell you, that I don't want to miss you
Dreaming in the sleep we await the day

You (A poem about you)

A hand to hold through old age
A person to laugh with even though
The joke wasn't that funny
A smile shared during everyday life
Because you are there with me
A beauty that catches my eye
Every time you walk in the room
A warm feeling in my heart
Because you show me that you care
A tingling in my bones
Because you touched me
A trance like state
You put me in with a waft of you
A calm moment from the storm inside
Because your voice graced my ears with "I love you"
A naked feeling down to my soul
Because you looked at me
A reason to get up every morning
And to dream every night
These are but some of the things that are you
And for that I am happy you are in my life

3rd Anniversary Letter

Have you ever caught yourself wanting to be someone else? Maybe someone who has enough money so you wouldn't have to worry about paying your bills? Or maybe even someone who you thought looked better than you do? Well, I myself have had those wishes. I wanted to be someone else just to escape from what I had, or what I didn't have.

I often asked myself, what if I was a different person would my life be any better? Or what if I would have more money or a better job, would I be happier? In that moment I thought the answer was 'yes'. If I had more money and could pay bills on time I wouldn't have to worry about late fees, or even that they shut it down. I wouldn't have to turn around every penny while going grocery shopping. But then after that moment I came back to reality. I came back to what I actually had and just took it the way it was.

All this changed when I met you, my princess. I still caught myself thinking things like; What if I was a different person and would have met you in America? What if I'd have enough money to buy you everything you wanted? What if...? All this stopped after a while, though, cause I came back to the same answer every time; If I was a different person I wouldn't have you. I wouldn't have what we share, and I probably would have never met you. Now and then I still wish that I'd have a lot of money, so I could buy you everything you want. Not being able to buy you something, whether it's a new car or just some milk still makes me very said. After a while, though, I never found myself wishing I was somebody else anymore.

You changed my whole life, baby. I knew the moment you entered the chat room on foolmoon that you were someone special. You cast a spell over me,starting with your nickname, and when you started talking I thought that you were the cutest person ever.

You just have it all! You are very sexy, not just in a physical way but also mental. I love the fact that you are intelligent, which is another reason I got drawn to you. You are beautiful, inside and outside and you fight for what you stand for. You have your own opinions and you tell them, no matter what. You have your dreams, and you don't even know how proud I am of you. I adore you with every single beat of my heart and I'm going to support you in everything you want to do.

We've been together for three years now and we both know it wasn't always easy. We've had up and downs in our relationship but our love was strong enough to put us through all that. I've never felt so confident in my life as I feel about our love and I can't wait for all the other things life has waiting for us. I am so sure about our love, you and our marriage that I know we will make it through anything.

From the bottom of my heart, with every fabric of my being and with more love than I've ever had for somebody do I promise you to always be here for you, to support you in everything that may come and to listen to what you have to say. Whether you just want to have a hug or you need my shoulder to cry on, I will be here. If you need a hand to lead your way, I will be here to do so. If you feel insecure, I'm the one to give you safety and if you just want to talk, I'm here to listen.

I love you, Kelly Lynn. I love you the way nobody could ever love you. I love you forever and ever, no matter what and I will work my whole life long on making you as happy as you make me.